


touch me like you know me (baby when you're lonely)

by cuddlyobrien



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, F/M, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:33:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26992975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cuddlyobrien/pseuds/cuddlyobrien
Summary: “What did you expect me to say?”Harry shrugs. “I dunno, something snarky.”Draco nods, “Usually, I would. But, we’re friends now and I thought you’d appreciate the gesture of me being honest.”“I do,” Harry tells him, the corners of his mouth twitching. Draco realizes then that Harry had experience a growth spurt over the summer. He was now towering over Draco, legs unbelievably long.“You’re taller,” Draco states before he can stop himself.
Relationships: Dean Thomas/Blaise Zabini, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Pansy Parkinson/Ginny Weasley
Comments: 3
Kudos: 234





	touch me like you know me (baby when you're lonely)

**Author's Note:**

> all mistakes are mine :) title is from the song high tops by del water gap

Draco doesn’t mean to start… watching Potter. He will not call it stalking because that’s not what he’s doing. He’s just curious about what Potter’s up to these days. If he’s doing okay, if he’s happy. If he’s handling the breakup with Ginny alright. He’s merely worried about Potter’s wellbeing. 

Which is how he finds himself following Potter, at a safe distance, into the sparse woods and over to the lake. Potter’s never gone outside the castle, usually just wanders the halls late at night with a vacant look in his eye. Draco shivers against the night air and had he known Potter was just going to stare out on the lake for an hour, he’d have brought his coat. He’s getting ready to leave Potter to freeze by himself when Potter speaks, “This seems a bit silly. But I… I don’t know how else to talk to you.” 

Draco freezes, watching as Potter sinks to his knees. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now, Sirius. I don’t have anyone to save or a villain to take down. Am I meant to go back to school, now? Act like nothing happened? I can’t just- I broke up with Ginny. I’m- I think I might be gay. Or, Or, at least Bi? I don’t know. I wish you were here to help me.” 

Potter takes a deep breath, sniffling and Draco wants to reach out, comfort him. But Draco Malfoy is the last person Potter would ever want comfort from. “Malfoy has been watching me like I’m going to start screaming at any second.”

_Fuck_ , Draco thinks. So Potter had noticed, against all of Draco’s best efforts to conceal himself. He’d just have to be careful. He focused back on Potter’s words, “…still don’t understand him. He doesn’t give me up in the manor but then, he and his stupid lackeys corner me in the Room of Requirement only to try and kill me there. I don’t even know why I saved him. And then, he does something so unexpected. He fucking arms me with a wand to take down the leader of the side of the war he’s been supporting since sixth fucking year. Maybe even earlier. I mean, what is that?” 

Draco has to get out of here. He’s not meant to hear this, he shouldn’t have even stayed at long as he did. He turns, walking quickly and quietly but he steps on a twig and it breaks. He hides behind a large tree when Potter calls out, “Is someone there?” 

Draco pulls out his wand, closing his eyes tightly as he hears Potter stands and start walking into the forest. He quickly says a disillusion charm. He stands perfectly still and doesn’t make a fucking noise until Potter gives up and goes back inside. _Fuck, fuck, fuck._ He knew there was no way Potter would know for sure that he was the one in the woods. But, as Potter had put it, he’d been watching him. 

The next morning at breakfast, Draco pointedly did not look at Potter. He took his seat, ate his toast and sipped his tea like a normal human being. If he kept his head down and didn’t look at Potter for a week or two, he could go back to keeping an eye on him. Then someone is sitting down beside him and when Draco looks over it’s Potter. He quirks an eyebrow and asks, “Can I help you, Potter?”

“Were you in the woods last night?” Potter retorts, eyes angry and jaw clenched.

“We’re not supposed to be out of our rooms after dark,” Draco tells him, feigning confusion. 

Harry breathes angrily through his nose before replying, “That’s not what I asked. I asked if you were in the woods last night.”

“Were _you_ in the woods last night?” Draco counters, arching his eyebrows. 

“How else would I know that someone else was in the woods?” Harry snaps as Draco takes a calm sip of his tea. 

Draco shrugs, “You’re the chosen one. Seems to me like you’d know a lot.” 

“Answer the damn question, Malfoy!” Harry exclaims, drawing the attention of some surrounding students. 

“Thanks for that, they probably think I’m plotting to steal your soul now,” Draco says harshly, rolling his eyes, “Go back to your friends, Potter. Nobody was spying on you.” 

“I _heard_ someone in the woods last night,” Harry says in a whisper, “and you’ve been watching me like a hawk since we came back to school a month ago.” 

“Now you’re just delusional,” Draco teases, finishing his last piece of toast. “The world doesn’t revolve around you, ya know. No matter how much your little followers think it does.” 

Harry purses his lips before spitting out, “Fine. But if I find out you were listening in on private conversations, I’ll tell McGonagall.” 

Draco nearly questions who Potter was speaking too in the woods but, he already knows the answer so he just responds, “And risk getting yourself in trouble?” 

Potter narrows his eyes but leaves Draco sitting alone at the end of the Slytherin table with his near empty cup of tea. 

Granger corners him in the library later that night, pointing a finger in his face, “What the hell are you doing to Harry?”

Draco draws a slow hand up, pushing Granger’s finger out of his face. He shakes his head and answers, “Like I told Boy Wonder this morning, the world doesn’t revolve around him. I haven’t been watching or spying on him.”

“That’s a lie,” Granger spits out. “Every time I look at you, you’re staring at him. What’re you up to, Malfoy?”

Draco smirks, “You’ve been looking at me, Granger? I’m flattered though, not surprised. I’m much more dashing than Weasley.”

“Shut up! I haven’t been _looking_ at you but sometimes, I happen to be looking in your general direction and you just so happen to be there,” Granger rushes to say, her eyes hardening. 

“If that’s your story,” Draco taunts, looking back down at his notes, “Are you staying? There’s plenty of room at my table, nobody finds it fun to sit with a Malfoy anymore.”

“I wonder why. You’d better leave Harry alone, he’s trying to have a _normal_ school year,” Granger bites out before turning on her heel and disappearing back to the more populated parts of the library. 

Draco sighs and gathers himself before going back to his Charms paper. Granger’s words bothered him, Potter wasn’t trying to have a normal anything. He didn’t know how to go back to normal, apparently. He didn’t know how to live a life without a villain to take down. 

*

“Another love letter?” Harry asks, seeing Ginny holding a piece of pink parchment. She blushes while nodding, prompting Dean to asks, “What’s this one say?”

“This one’s quite personal,” Ginny says, folding the paper up and slipping it under her robes before anyone can take it from her hands. 

“Any idea who it is?” Hermione asks from her spot next to Ron. “Quite the romantic, whoever it is.”

“You like love letters?” Ron looks up from where he’s shoveling mashed potatoes into his mouth. 

Hermione purses her lips. “I don’t know, I’ve never received one.”

Harry snorts when Ron’s face falls. He turns his attention back to Ginny, “So?”

Ginny sighs, running her hand over the spot in her robe that she’d stuck in her letter in. “I don’t know. All I know is, they’re in 8th year.”

“An older man?” Luna muses with a smile, leaning over into Neville who just takes Luna’s hand without looking up from his herbology book. 

“I think,” Ginny starts with her eyebrows set in confusion, “Maybe an older _woman_?” 

Everyone looks at her with surprised looks and she shrugs. “Their handwriting is in impeccable. The way they talk about certain things. The way they speak of marriage. It could very well be a more feminine man, which would be just as well. But, I wouldn’t mind it being a girl.”

Ron hm’s with a nod. “Cool. Mum would be in heaven planning a wedding where she gets to help pick _two_ wedding dresses.” 

Ginny shoots her brother a smile before changing the subject. “So, Harry. You’re the only one left.” 

Harry sends her a confused look. “What do you mean?”

“Well, Luna and Neville have been together since summer. Ron and Hermione, the same. Dean is still pretending not to be making heart eyes at Blaise every chance he gets,” Ginny explains, Dean turning bright red. “And I have my little secret admirer. You’re the only one luckless in love.”

Harry looks over his shoulder, eyes falling on Malfoy, who’s laughing at something Blaise said. He looks back to Ginny and shrugs. “I’m just.. taking some time.”

Hermione reaches across the table then, capturing his hand with a squeeze. “Which is perfectly fine. When you’re meant to be with someone, it’ll happen. No need to rush it.”

When the subject changes to the halloween party Luna is trying to convince McGonagall to throw, Harry looks back over his shoulder. Malfoy is staring back. 

*

“May I?” 

Draco looks up from his Muggle Studies homework to see Harry standing there. He’s got a chair half pulled out, waiting for Draco’s permission to sit down. “If you must.”

“Thanks.” Harry sits, setting four different books on the table along with notes from various classes. 

It’s silent for all of five minutes before Harry’s disrupting the quiet. “So I was thinking-“

“A very dangerous action for you, Potter.”

Harry rolls his eyes at Draco’s interruption but presses on, “I was _thinking_ that maybe we could be friends.”

“I’m sorry?” Draco asks, voice going up a pitch as his eyebrows raise.

“Well, I mean,” Harry sputters out. “I know you have Blaise and Pansy but, well..”

Draco is staring at Harry with wide eyes. “But?”

“Well, Blaise is going to be dating Dean as soon as they get tired of the stolen glances and pining. And.. I think we both know Pansy is Ginny’s secret admirer,” Harry tells him as if those facts are supposed to explain why they should be friends. 

“I’m still not tracking,” Draco says, twirling his quill in his hand. 

Harry heaves a sighs, rolling his eyes. “McGonagall is also pushing unity. Which means, Blaise and Pansy will be able to sit with their significant others. Meaning, you’ll either sit alone at the Slytherin table or you’ll sit at my table.”

“I still don’t know why we have to be friends,” Draco said bluntly, confused. 

“Never mind, I should’ve know better,” Harry spits out, hands going to gather his books.

Draco panics, hand reaching out to grasp Harry’s wrist. “Wait. I’m sorry. I’m.. I still think of everything you do as an ulterior motive to try and make me look stupid.”

“You were always the one with the ulterior motives,” Harry mumbles and Draco feels a pang of guilt in his chest.

“I know,” Draco says, voice barely above a whisper. “I’m sorry. Let’s.. We can be friends. You can stay here and study, if you want.”

“Good. Because I want to talk to about when exactly Parkinson is going to tell Ginny…”

*

Draco wakes up with a gasp, thoughts of war swirling in his head. He takes a few minutes to calm down, wiping his face dry. He throws a green sweater on over his pajama shirt, slipping his shoes on and walking out of his room. 

He was glad that not many 8th year Slytherins had returned, it meant everybody left had gotten their own rooms. Which in turn, meant that Draco didn’t wake anybody up with his nightmares caused him to cry out in his sleep. He shivered against the chill in the air, never seeming to get warm after Voldemort had turned their house into a fucking icebox. 

He walked through random hallways, looking at pictures on the walls to try and calm his mind. This was usually a surefire way to make him sleepy enough to go back to bed without having to distract his mind from thought of the past couple of years. 

Draco was walking past a door that led outside when it was opened slowly, Harry poking his head in. He froze as Harry’s gaze fell on him. “Er, hi?”

“What are you doing out of bed?” Harry’s eyebrows came together in confusion.

“I could ask you the same question,” Draco counters and wasn’t it just yesterday they’d agreed to be friends?

“Good thing I asked you first.”

Draco sighs and decides to do what a _friend_ would do; answer honestly, “I have nightmares sometimes. Walking around, reading about some professor who used to work here ages ago or about a quidditch match Hufflepuff won, it helps to distract me and make me tired enough to fall back asleep.”

“Oh,” Harry whispers, frowning. 

“What did you expect me to say?”

Harry shrugs. “I dunno, something snarky.”

Draco nods, “Usually, I would. But, we’re friends now and I thought you’d appreciate the gesture of me being honest.”

“I do,” Harry tells him, the corners of his mouth twitching. Draco realizes then that Harry had experience a growth spurt over the summer. He was now towering over Draco, legs unbelievably long. 

“You’re taller,” Draco states before he can stop himself. 

“Er, yeah.” Harry’s cheeks flame and he shuffles his feet. “I’m 6’4 now. Mrs. Weasley said it’s like it happened overnight.”

Draco stares at Harry, trying to see anything else he’s missed. “You’re growing your hair out.”

Harry’s hand flies up, tussling his almost shoulder length hair. “And you’re keeping yours short. Are you just going to spout facts about me all night?”

“Do you want me to?” Draco asks, feeling bold. 

Harry licks his lip before opening them to say something but, he’s cut off by the sound of someone calling from the other end of the hall, “Mr. Potter? Mr. Malfoy?”

Both boys look to the owner of the voice and Harry greets them, “Headmistress McGonagall.”

“What are you two doing out of bed at this hour?” McGonagall asks, eyebrows drawn together. “Has something happened?" 

“Well, I was just-“ Draco starts. 

Harry cuts him off, “I go down to the lake to clear my head at night, I get terrible nightmares from the war. I thought I heard something a couple nights ago so, I asked Malfoy if he’d be willing to meet me at the door when I came in. Just to make sure I was okay.”

McGonagall looks to Draco for confirmation. He speaks only when Harry elbows him, “Yes, precisely. I wouldn’t want Harry to get killed by some sort of uh, creature when he’s just survived taking down Voldemort.”

She eyes them both suspiciously before telling them, “I’m not sure I believe that you two are suddenly friends but, never the matter. Detention for you both tomorrow with Slughorn. Off to bed with you both.” 

They wait until the headmistress turns to head back around the corner before Harry turns back to face him. “Next time you have a nightmare, you should come to the lake. It’s very peaceful.”

“It’s your spot,” Draco protests. 

“It could be-“ Harry breaks off, clamping his mouth shut. He takes a moment before starting again, “I wouldn’t mind if you joined me.”

Harry turns then, going back the way McGonagall had came to go to the Gryffindor hall. Draco stands by himself, staring at the spot where Harry had turned the corner for a long time. He can’t help but think that Harry was going to say the lake could be _their_ spot.

*

Draco’s laying under the large tree in the courtyard when Granger appears over his head. He stares up at her before sighing and sitting up. “What can I do for you?”

“I owe you an apology,” Granger says in a curt voice. 

Draco eyes her with suspicion. If anyone should be apologizing out of the two of them, it should be him. She takes a deep breath before she says, “I shouldn’t have accused you of trying to do anything to Harry. He said you two were friends now.”

“Erm, thank you.” Draco hesitates for a moment before saying, “I’m sorry, too. For.. everything. From the mud blood thing, to constantly picking on your appearance and your relationship with Weasley. For.. For Bella-“

“You don’t need to apologize for her actions,” Granger says in a stern voice, cutting him. “I accept your apology for the rest of it but you don’t need to apologize for her.”

“Granger, I _let_ her-“

“And what exactly could you have done to stop her?” Granger asked, making Draco’s face fall. “Exactly, nothing. She was a horrid bitch who got what was coming to her.”

Draco and Granger stare at each other before Draco lets out a stifled laugh. “I’ve never heard you curse before.” 

“Don’t tell Ron. He’ll just use it to tease me,” Granger requests with a faint blush on her cheeks.

“And why would I be talking to Weasley?” Draco asks.

“Because you’re friends with Harry. Which means, you and I are friends,” Granger explains as if it was so obvious. “And who Harry and I are friends with, Ron usually follows.” 

“Ah, I see. So Weasley is just a sheep to be led?” Draco says in amusement. 

Granger rolls her eyes. “Not what I meant.”

“Don’t worry, everyone knows Ron would do anything for you. As would Harry.” Draco lays back down, staring up into the leaves and reveling in the warmth of the sun. 

“He really is glad you’re his friend, you know.” Draco turns his head to see Granger is standing and walking away from him. 

*

Halloween passes without a party, much to Luna’s dismay. They’re a week into November and Draco isn’t surprised when Blaise tells them he’s going to sit with Dean at the Gryffindor table. He also isn’t suspired when he greets Dean with a kiss before settling in beside him and joining in the conversation like he’s meant to be there. Draco’s gaze wanders, finding Harry, who is letting Luna pull his hair back into a French braid. 

“I think I’m going to tell her today,” Pansy says, bringing his attention back to her. Draco looks at her with raised eyebrows, gesturing for her to go on. “It’s just.. I want to hold her hand and kiss her and sit with her at lunch.”

“I don’t know why you started with love letters in the first place,” Draco tells her with an exasperated tone. 

He watches her watch Ginny with sad eyes. “What if she doesn’t like me?”

“Then she’s the stupidest girl alive,” Draco tells her and Pansy sends him a smile. He sighs when her eyes wander back to the Gryffindor table. “Just- Go over there after lunch and ask if you can speak with her. If she says she’s not interested, we can skip the rest of our classes and I’ll buy you all the chocolate you want at Hogsmeade this weekend.”

“Okay, fine,” Pansy relents, tearing her eyes away from Ginny. “But if she says yes, I’m allowing myself one week of being wrapped up in her before I start trying to set you up.”

Draco groans, screwing his face up in disgust. “As if I’d date anyone here.”

“I’m sure I can find someone here you’re interested in,” Pansy says with a smirk. 

“Stop worrying about me and tell me what you’re going to say to her,” Draco insists, pulling the attention from him. 

They spend the rest of lunch perfecting what Pansy is going say to Weaslette. When the lunch bell rings, Pansy’s face grows panicked and Draco sighs. “Go! I’ll be close in case we have to skip classes. Which we won’t because I’m sure she’s going to say yes.”

Draco trails behind Pansy as she approaches Ginny who’s walking with Harry out of the Great Hall. Ginny eyes her with apprehensive eyes as Pansy asks, “Can I speak to you? Alone?”

Harry looks to Ginny who nods to him. He turns and must spot Draco before he walks to where Draco is concealing himself. He stands behind him and asks, “What’s happening?”

“Sh!” Draco whispers and focuses back on Ginny and Pansy. 

“What can I do for you?” Ginny asks and Draco’s heart falls when he realizes Pansy is not going to stay on script. 

Pansy opens and closes her mouth several time and Harry winces behind Draco. He leans in close, his breath hot on Draco’s ear, and whispers, “She’s kind of crashing and burning.”

Draco elbows him and whispers, “Shut up.”

He turns his focus back to the girls and sees Ginny place her hand on Pansy’s forearm. Ginny gives her a small smile and asks, “It’s you, isn’t it? My letters?”

Pansy nods and Ginny grins widely before pushing up on her toes and kissing Pansy sweetly on the cheek. Pansy’s cheeks flame and she asks, “Would you like to come with me to Hogsmeade this weekend?”

“I would love to,” Ginny agrees, both the girls smiling with red cheeks. “Could I come to your room later, I’d like to…”

Draco turns around then, wanting to give the girls some privacy and sighs when he’s met with Harry’s chest. “Would you mind, you giant?”

“I’m not giant!” Harry exclaims with a frown. Draco looks up, any further up and his neck would be in pain, and rolls his eyes at the taller boy. “Okay, fine, I’m a little taller now than most.”

“Come on, Potter, you can walk me to class.” Draco pulls Harry off the wall he’s leaning on and they fall into step beside each other as they set off to Muggle Studies. 

*

The next day at breakfast, Pansy pulls Draco with her and Blaise to sit at the Gryffindor table. Pansy, of course, sits beside Ginny who is sporting the same red cheeks that Pansy is. Blaise takes the same spot beside Dean as he’d done the day before. Leaving Draco to sit between Dean and Harry. 

Harry looks over as Draco sits beside him. “Oh, hi.”

“Hi,” Draco replies before eyeing Harry’s hair. “Do you own a brush?”

“I _told_ you it was a mess,” Granger grumbles from her spot across from Harry. 

“It’s fine,” Harry protests, tussling the long curls. “I’ve got a nice bed head thing going on.”

“It looks like a rats nest,” Draco disagrees looking to Pansy. “Give me your brush.”

“What makes you think I’m so vain I carry a brush around all the time?” Pansy objects. 

Draco sends her a look that has her rolling her eyes and pulling a brush out of her bag on the floor. He thanks her and turns back to Harry. “Brush your hair.” 

Harry sends Draco a glare but drags the brush through his hair all the same. His hair poofs out and he lets out a little groan before stealing a hair tie off of Hermione’s wrist and pulling his locks into a bun on the back of his head. “Better?”

Draco eyes it before shrugging, “Cute.”

“ _Cute_?” Ron drawls out, face screwed up in disgust. 

“Yeah, cute,” Blaise agrees. 

Harry blushes before changing the subject, “Who’s all going to Hogsmeade?”

Their part of the table grows quiet before Luna says, “We’re all going on dates.”

Draco suddenly feels very left out, eyes glancing between Blaise and Pansy who are both giving him apologetic looks. 

“Oh,” Harry says in small voice. 

“You and Draco could go together?” Hermione suggest before she rushes to add, “As friends, I mean. Since you two are the only ones without dates.”

It’s dead silent as everyone waits for their reaction. Harry glances at him and Draco decides not to ruin the fun by refusing to go with Harry. “Great, I get to spend all day fending Potter off from his adoring fans.”

Harry rolls his eyes and says, “Please, they’ll be too scared to approach me with you scowling. You won’t have to do anything out of the ordinary.” 

Chatter resumes between everyone once they realize the two single boys aren’t going to throw any tantrums at being left behind by their friends. Draco wonders why he’s suddenly nervous at the thought of spending a whole day with Harry alone. 

*

The following morning finds Draco waiting outside the front doors for Harry. Pansy and Blaise had left him already to join Ginny and Dean. He shivered against the October air and pulling his winter jacket more tightly around him. He looked towards the hill where everyone was walking before he looked back to see Harry sauntering towards him. When he was close enough to hear, Draco starts. “Finally, I’ve been waiting out in the cold for ages.”

“It’s not even cold!” Harry proclaims. “Plus, I was getting some coins and I had to redo my locking spells on my trunk.”

“Whatever, let’s go.” Draco turns and starts walking, Harry catching up to him in no time. They walk down the hill in silence and Draco feels a little out of breath with how fast Harry is walking. “Excuse me, Giant, could you slow down?”

Harry slows his walking to match Draco’s pace and they walk at his pace all the way to Hogsmeade. “Where do you wanna go first?”

“The tea shop, I’m running low.” Draco starts off in that direction, Harry right beside him. 

“I don’t like tea,” Harry states as they approach the door. 

“Do you buy tea bags or actual tea?”

“Er, the bags?”

“It’s the paper. It leaves a taste.” Draco goes inside as Harry holds the door open for him. He leads Harry over to a wall full of glass jars that hold loose leaf tea. “I prefer Earl Grey in the mornings, it’s got a citrus flavor. I usually add a touch of honey to my morning cup. At night, I either drink Chamomile or Decaf Green Tea.”

“You just put it in water?” Harry asks, seeming disgusted. 

“No, I put mine in a little metal infuser. I’ll probably need a new one soon but, it can wait.” Draco points to a small table with infuser on it. He turns back to the wall of teas and doesn’t notice Harry wander off. 

He collects his Early Grey, Chamomile and decides to grab a peppermint tea as well. He pays for it and looks around for Harry but, the a large group of students had just walked in. He goes outside to wait, holding his bag with a tight grip. 

Harry emerges a few minutes later, holding his own bag that’s much smaller than Draco’s. “I got you something.” 

“Oh?” Draco raises his eyebrows. “Let’s see, then.”

Harry’s grinning as he brings something wrapped in tissue paper out of the paper bag. He unwraps it carefully to show Draco a green metal tea infuser in the shape of a a snake. “It’s a Slytherin infuser.”

“You’re a dork.” Draco smiles, reaching out for it. “Thank you.”

“It’s nothing.” Harry watches Draco as he runs his finger over the infuser before wrapping it back up with careful hands. After Harry’s put it back in the bag, he tells Draco, “C’mon. I wanna go to the sweets shop. They have pumpkin fritters this time of year.”

After visiting nearly every shop, Draco and Harry set off to walk back to Hogwarts. Draco had ended up buying Harry a hairbrush with the Gryffindor symbol on the back to make up for Harry’s gift. As they walked back, Harry with his bag of fritters and a hairbrush and Draco with his bag of tea and infuser, Draco felt nervous. 

“Harry?” 

“Hm?”

“Was this-“ Draco cuts off before he asks Harry if it was a date. He couldn’t face the rejection that he would feel when Harry told him it was just a day they’d had to spend together because their friends were in relationships. “Can I borrow your notes from yesterdays Charms class?”

Draco felt lonelier than ever before.

*  
A few days later, Draco is in the library, drinking a peppermint tea with his little snake infuser settled in nicely. He’d used it every time he’d had a cup since Harry had given it to him. 

Draco looks up from his notes when Ron and Hermione find their way to his table in the library. “What bring you two here? 

“Well, obviously we came to sit with you,” Hermione tells him in an obvious tone. “Plus, it’s the warmest part of the library.”

Draco allows himself to feel a little warm at the thought of Hermione and Ron being his friends. “Where’s your better third?”

“I’m sorry, who?” Ron asks, confused. 

“Harry, the better part of your third.” Hermione snorts at Draco’s answer.

“He was fussing with his hair in his room,” Hermione answers, rolling her eyes. “I think he has a crush on someone but he won’t admit it to anyone.”

Draco felt a weird sinking feeling in his chest. “Oh. Boy Wonder finally falling for one of his adoring fans.”

Ron shakes his head. “Nah, pretty sure it’s a bloke. He everyone a month ago he gay, or at least bi. He’d wanted everyone to know because he thought this one guy was cute. Never told us who.”

“Whoever it is, he started learning new hairstyles to do to impress them,” Hermione explains, carefully copying notes from a large book that sat in front of her. 

“Is that was brought on the two buns? And God, the frustration that he had trying to learn those stupid braids.” Ron lets out a groan at the thought of his best friend doing his hair. 

Hermione shrugs, not commenting on it. “Either way, he like someone in Hogwarts a lot.”

“Hm,” Draco says, not trusting his voice. Who? Who was it that Harry had found cute? Who did he have a crush on? Why did feel so jealous of him? 

*

It’s the end of November when Draco finds himself in Pansy’s room with her and Ginny. Ginny’s sitting at Pansy’s desk, doing a paper. Draco’s laying down, his eyes closed as Pansy paints nails black. “So, Draco. I haven’t forgotten about setting you up with someone.”

Draco groaned, shaking his head. “Please, forget it. I’m not interested in anyone here.”

“C’mon, there must be somebody you find fit,” Pansy whined before blowing on his nails to dry them. 

Draco thought of Harry towering over him, hand tussling his long hair, light stubble on his face. “No, there’s nobody.”

“What’s your type?” Ginny asks, twisting her body around in the chair to look at them. 

_Green eyes, long hair, scar on the forehead._ “Erm, I don’t know.”

Pansy rolls her eyes. “You’re hopeless.” 

“It’s not like I’m fifty and still single!” Draco defends himself as Pansy deems his nails dry. “I’m _nineteen_. I have plenty of time to find someone to spend my life with.”

“Just, give us a clue. What do you look for in a girl?” Ginny asks as Draco sits up on the bed. 

“Well, for starters, I’m gay,” Draco tells her.

“Okay,” Ginny draws out the word, “So what do you look for in a guy?”

“Erm, funny? Kind.” Draco felt stupid when Pansy and Ginny looked at them with blank expressions. “Fine, okay. I like a guy who can banter with me. I don’t want someone who’s going to get offended when I throw a teasing insult their way, I want someone who can dish it back to me. I like guys who are smart but, doesn’t go bragging about it. I want them to be confident in themselves but, not an arrogant ass. I want them to stand up for the little guy, to be brave in the face of danger.”

“Now, that I can work with,” Pansy states with a grin. 

“If you two didn’t hate each other, I’d almost say Harry,” Ginny muses, making Draco’s chest tighten, before she turns back to her paper. 

*

“Slughorn is doing another Christmas party this year,” Luna tells them two weeks later. 

Pansy had pointed out countless guys to Draco, some younger, over the past two weeks. Each other Draco turned down, making up some excuse. He didn’t like their nose. Their hair was weird. Their laugh was way too loud. He saw them pick their nose and eat it once. 

“Oh, perfect!” Pansy exclaimed. 

“Oh, no,” Draco mumbled. Harry looked to him in confusion and Draco explained, “She’s trying to set me up with someone. I don’t want to be set up.”

“Draco, I have the _perfect_ guy!” Pansy told him, smile wide and eyes hopeful. 

“Actually, I asked Draco to go with me,” Harry says and Draco turns to him with wide eyes. “I don’t particularly want to go with one of the… obsessed fans and Luna’s going with Neville this year. I thought, why not Draco? He’s my friend and I’m sure he’d enjoy going.”

“Draco?” Draco looks to Pansy and shrugs.

“Sorry, Pans. I thought I’d told you,” Draco tells her, tone apologetic. 

“No, it’s fine. Maybe after Christmas Hols, you can meet him?” Pansy suggested with a hopeful smile. 

“Maybe,” Draco muses noncommittally.

Once the attention is off of him, he turns to Harry. “Thank you. You don’t have to take me, I’m sure you have someone you’d rather take.”

“I’d like to go with you.” Draco blinks at Harry’s confession. Harry wanted to go with him? As a date? Maybe _Draco_ was the guy Harry had a crush on? “I’d like to go with someone who isn’t going to try and snog me against my will.”

“Right, you want to go with a friend.” Draco was stupid to get his hope up, even for a second. 

“Sure, Draco. A friend.” Draco tries to decipher the emotion written on Harry’s face but it’s gone in second; Harry turning away to face Ron and making a joke about Seamus dating Lavender now. 

*

The night of Slughorn’s party, Draco breathes deeply as he smoothes out his outfit. Ginny, Hermione and Pansy had picked it out the Saturday before at Hogsmeade. He wore a dark green turtleneck underneath a black blazer, black slacks and a pair loafers. He checked his hair once more before leaving his room and heading upstairs. 

Harry was waiting at the end of the hallway and Draco’s breath caught in his throat at the sight of him. He was wearing a white button down, tight in all the right places, with the top few buttons open and showing the top of his chest off. It was tucked into a pair of tight, navy blue slacks that stopped just at his ankles where a pair of brown loafers started. His hair was down and laying perfectly as he smiled at Draco. 

When he arrived where Harry was standing, he made a joke, “I see the hairbrush I got you was put to good use today. You look great.”

Harry rolls his eyes and holds out his arm, “C’mon, GQ. Let’s go in.”

“GQ?” Draco’s question was drowned out by the noise of the party when Harry opened the door. They walked in, arms linked, and made their way across the room to where Ron and Hermione stood. 

“Draco, the outfit really does look amazing on you,” Hermione tells him when they get close enough.

“I am rather dashing,” Draco agrees, making the trio all roll their eyes at him. “You look amazing yourself, Hermione.”

“More than amazing,” Ron concurs, looking down at Hermione in her one shoulder, floor length black dress with the slit up the leg. “Brilliant, I’d say.”

Hermione smiles up at him and retorts, “Always the tone of surprise.” 

“I don’t know how you put up with them for this long,” Draco says, watching as Ron leans in for a kiss. 

“Trust me, they’re insufferable,” Harry agrees, pulling Draco away from the couple. They spend the next hour making small talk with everyone and assuring everyone they’re only here as friends. 

Harry looks over to Draco and asks, “Would you dance with me?” 

“Dance?” Draco asks, eyes wide. “You want me to dance?”

The corners of Harry’s mouth twitched. “Sure. Everyone else is.”

Draco looked away to see everyone was dancing, holding each other close. He looks back to Harry and reluctantly nods. “Fine. Let’s dance.”

Harry commandeers him, tangling one Draco’s hands with his and pulling him close. Harry’s other hand snakes down to the small of Draco’s back and Draco bring his up to grip around Harry’s shoulder. Harry leans his head down, resting it on the side of Draco’s head. Draco’s nose is tickled by little sprigs of Harry’s hair and he can smell the vanilla from Harry’s body wash swirling around. 

Harry holds him close, swaying along with the music. Draco pulls his head back, just slightly to ask, “Am I better dancer than Parvarti?”

Harry snorts, lifting his head up and in doing so, running his nose up the side of Draco’s face. “Parvarti was only a bad dancer because I didn’t know how to lead.” 

Draco smiles up at Harry. “Oh and you’re much better now?”

Harry grins slyly at him before putting Draco in a twirl before bending him down in a scoop and bringing him back up in a swift motion. Draco, caught off guard, lets out a small gasp and clutches Harry’s forearm and hand tightly. “What, no snark?”

“Maybe warn someone before you do that?” Draco says, making Harry laugh softly before pulling back in close to rest their head together.

Finally after the song ends, Harry pulls Draco into a small alcove after swiping two cups of punch. They sit down on the small couch there and Harry hands Draco a punch.

“Thank you,” Draco says as he takes the cup from Harry, their fingers brushing. “How long does this usually last?”

“We haven’t even heard any speeches,” Harry answers making Draco groan, leaning over and resting his head on Harry’s bicep. “Let’s sneak out. We can go down to the lake.”

“Really?” Draco asks. “You liked this party last time.”

“I only wanted to go to get answers from Slughorn for Dumbledore.” Harry stands, holding out a hand to Draco. “C’mon, lets ditch it.”

They sneak out, practically running down the hallways and not stopping until they’re outside and can see the lake. Draco shivers against the cold air, wishing he’s brought his winter jacket. 

Harry leads him to a spot by the lake and conjures a large blanket for them sit on. Draco sits after Harry does, bending one leg at the knee to rest his arm on it. “You really like it here.”

“Yeah, I uh, I come here to talk to Sirius,” Harry confesses and Draco suddenly feels guilty.

“I um… I know.”

Harry looks at him in surprise. “What?”

“I.. I was the one in the woods that night.” Draco can see the anger take over Harry’s face. “I didn’t mean to listen in. I didn’t even think-“

“You _listened_?” Harry practically shouts, standing to his feet. “How could- Why-“

Draco’s chest tightens when Harry turns and starts walking away from him. He scrambles to his feet, having to do a slight run to catch up to the taller boy. “Harry, I’m sorry!” 

Harry whirls around, eyes angry and glistening with tears. “Why were you out here in the first place? Why were you following me?”

“I was- I was worried about you!” Draco’s heart is _aching_ at the sight of Harry’s tears spilling over onto his cheeks. “I just wanted to make sure you were alright!” 

“By listening in on my private conversations?” Harry screams, hand running through his hair in frustration. 

“No! I left before-“

“You left after you heard what you wanted to hear!” Harry’s voice was hard and angry and it terrified Draco. 

“Harry, please, I didn’t want mean to-“

“Save me your excuses, Malfoy.” Draco rears back like he’s been slapped at the sound of his surname coming out of Harry’s mouth like it’s a bad taste. 

He watches with a pit in his stomach as Harry walks back to the school. 

*

They leave for Christmas break the day after he and Harry fight. Pansy is spending Christmas with the Weasley’s, her parents being in Azkaban for supporting Voldemort. Blaise and Dean are spending Christmas Eve at Blaise’s and Christmas Day at Dean’s. Luna and Neville were spending Christmas at Hogwarts. Draco’s sure that Harry is with the Weasley’s as well. 

His Mother had written him weeks earlier, stating that she was going to join Andromena and Teddy on a trip to Spain for Christmas. He had declined her invitation to come with her told her he would spend Christmas with his friends. But now, he wasn’t sure if he had any friends. Would he still be able to talk to Hermione? Or Ginny? He knew he’d always have Pansy and Blaise. But, he wouldn’t expect them to choose sitting alone with him over their partners. 

He couldn’t face spending Christmas alone in the manor. He had a good long cry before he pulled himself out of bed on Christmas Eve and went to the library to find some peace in the form of a book. 

Instead, he found Luna and Neville, wrapped up together on the couch while they read. Luna looks up when he entered the library and she smiles. “Draco, what are you doing here? I thought you’d gone home.”

“Er, Mum is spending Christmas with my aunt and Teddy in Spain.” Draco shifts his weight as the couple mirror each other with confused expressions. 

Neville tilts his head before asking, “Why didn’t you go with Harry? You two are joined at the hip these days.” 

“We had a fight,” Draco answers. 

Luna pats the space beside her and gestures for Draco to come over. When he sits, uncomfortable, she asks, “What was the fight about?”

“Earlier this year, I sort of followed Harry down the lake one night. I overheard him talking to.. someone and it was personal conversation. He’s quite mad at me.” Draco felt incredibly vulnerable telling Luna this but, if there was one person who wouldn’t go blabbing her mouth to people, it was Luna. 

“Did you apologize?” Luna asks. 

Draco rolls his eyes. “Of course, I did. He was just too angry to listen.” 

“Maybe try talking to him when everyone returns? He might just need some time,” Neville suggests. 

“Perhaps,” Draco agrees. If there was one thing Draco was unsure of, it was if Harry would ever forgive him. 

*  
Draco spends Christmas Day drinking hot cocoa with Luna and Neville, opening his gift from his Mum (a new tea mug with a D on it), and desperately wishing Harry were with him. 

He has a plan to talk to Harry the second he gets back and grovel until Harry accepted his apology. But, when everyone arrives, Draco chickens out and stays shut in his room the entire day. The first morning back to classes, he convinced the elves to let him eat in the kitchens because he’s too afraid to enter the Great Hall. 

They’re only halfway into breakfast when Pansy finds him. She marches over and stands beside him with her hands on her hips. “You aren’t eating with us?”

Draco sighs, marking his page and closing his book. He looks up at Pansy and lies, “I’m just not in the mood to talk today.”

“I haven’t seen you in two weeks. You don’t want to see me?” Pansy asks, eyebrows drawn together in a hurt expression. 

“Pans, of course I want to see you, it’s just…” Draco trails off. 

“What?”

“I have a crush on Harry and we’re fighting so I don’t particularly want to see him because, if I do I’m afraid I’ll die.” Pansy blinks at Draco’s rushed confession. She takes a moment before she sits beside him. 

“You’re so dramatic,” Pansy whines with an exasperated tone. “What’re you fighting about?”

He explains the night he’d spied on Harry and how he’d confessed the night of Slughorn’s party and Pansy winces. She sighs and admits, “You fucked up. But, you can’t avoid him forever. At some point you’re going to see him.”

“I know.” Draco looks down at his hands, trying desperately not to cry. “I just can’t take seeing him look at me the way he did before.”

“Before?” Pansy questions. 

“Like he did sixth year,” Draco whispers. 

“Oh, babe.” Pansy leans forward then, pulling Draco into a tight hug. “If he looks at you like that, we’ll move tables.”

“You like sitting with Ginny.” 

“Ginny can come with me,” Pansy assures him. “I’m not going to make you sit somewhere you’re not comfortable and I’m certainly not going to expect you to sit alone.” 

“You’re a gem, Pans.” Draco pulls away then, smiling at her. 

“I know. Walk me to class?”

* 

Draco is late to meeting Pansy, who’d asked him to meet her at the clock tower before lunch. He’s pushing past people when he runs straight in a chest. 

“Oh, sor-“ Draco cuts off as he lifts his eyes up to see Harry standing there. “You cut your hair.”

Harry stares down at him with an unreadable expression. His hair was cropped short on the sides, long at the top and styled carefully so it resembled that of his hair in fifth year. “It was too much work.”

Draco silently mourned the loss of the long locks. “Right. Of course.”

“Did you need something?” Harry asks and Draco notices they’re alone now, everyone moving inside for lunch. 

Draco stands there, arms dangling at his side and doesn’t know what to say. He then blurts out, “I’m sorry.” 

Harry rolls his eyes and turns around to head inside. Draco watches him go and stands there for a few minutes after his figure disappears inside the doors. He turns around and heads in the direction of the dorms, eyes burning. 

He’s not looking where he’s going and bumps into someone. He doesn’t look up as he merely mumbles an apology. The person grabs his arm and he looks up and sees Ron looking at him with curious eyes. “Malfoy. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Draco spits out, trying to escape Ron’s hold.

“You’re crying. Must be something wrong.” Ron stares at him with sympathetic eyes.

“Your best friend hates me,” Draco spits out, clenching jaw to keep from letting out an embarrassing sob. 

Ron’s eyebrows jump up before he tells Draco, “Don’t know where you got that but, Harry certainly doesn’t hate you. He’s quite angry at you, yeah, but he doesn’t hate you.”

“Whatever, Weasley,” Draco spits out before pulling his arm from Ron’s grip and practically running towards the dungeons. 

Once he’s in his room, he collapses on his bed while kicking off his shoes. He lays down, letting the tears fall freely as he pulls his blankets over his head. 

He must fall asleep because the next thing he knows, he’s being startled awake to someone banging on his door. He rubs his eyes, flinging the blankets off of him. When he opens the door, Pansy stands before him. “You didn’t meet me at the clock tower. And you missed lunch and the rest of class. And dinners about to start.”

“I saw Harry,” Draco explains, turning and leaving the door open for her come in. He crawls back in bed as she lingers in the doorway for a moment. She finally comes in, shutting the door behind her and comes to sit beside him. “It was awful. He hates me. And Weasley saw me cry.”

Pansy sighs, reaching over and twining their hands together. “I’m sorry, Draco.”

They sit in silence for a long time before Draco stands in a rush of determination. “This is stupid. I’m not going too hide away just because Harry Potter doesn’t like me. It’s nothing unusual for me.”

Pansy smiles and stands with him, “Let’s go to dinner.”

*

When they enter the Great Hall, Draco pushes his anxiety down and follows Pansy to the Gryffindor table. He pushes it down when everyone looks at him with surprised looks. And he especially pushes it down when Harry looks at with surprise and anger when he takes his usual seat between Dean and Harry. 

“Draco. It’s so good to see you,” Hermione says, smiling at him. Harry looks at her with angry eyes making her gaze at him, annoyed. “Just because _you’re_ angry with Draco doesn’t mean the rest of have to be.”

Draco gives Hermione a small smile. “How was your Christmas?” 

Harry scoffs, pushing up from the table and stalking out of the great hall. Everyone near them falls quiet, looking to Draco. He sighs but, relents when everyone starts raising their eyebrows at him. When he exits the great hall, he looks around for a sign as to where Harry went. 

He decides to go in the direction of the library, head craning down every hallway he passes. He’s beginning to think he’s not going to be successful in his quest when hands pull him into an alcove. 

He stumbles into the person and grasps onto them for support. When he looks up, it’s Harry looming over him. “I found you.”

“Why were you looking for me?” Harry asks. 

Draco sighs. “I wanted to try my hand at apologizing, _again_. I really am sorry, Harry. I was only at the lake to make sure you were okay. I didn’t mean to listen in on any private conversations.”

“Why did you never tell me? I understand why you didn’t at first, we were hardly friends and I had threatened telling McGonagall,” Harry rambles, a confused expression on his face. “But, we’ve been friends for months and you never told me.”

“Honestly?” Draco asks, earning a nod from Harry. “I’d forgotten about it. Also, I didn’t expect you to be _this_ angry.”

“You forgot about it?” Harry repeats, eyebrows drawing together. “I said some pretty personal things. I mean, you heard me say I was gay.”

“Yeah, so?” Draco shrugs. “I’m gay, Dean’s gay, Blaise. Pansy, Ginny. Plus, you told everyone else. What’s the big deal?”

Harry blinks down at him. “You’re gay?”

“Uh, yes,” Draco says, drawing the words out. “That’s been a pretty known fact since fifth year.”

“I didn’t know,” Harry says, his voice low. 

They stare at each other for a moment before Draco whispers, “Are you still mad?”

Harry shakes his head. “Can’t stay mad at you for very long.”

“Well,” Draco shrugs with a smile. “I _am_ irresistible.” 

Harry rolls his eyes with a fond expression on his face. He brings his hand up, his fingers trailing the line of Draco’s jaw. He brings a thumb over to trace Draco’s bottom lip. Draco stands very still, looking up at Harry with parted lips. 

“I’ve wanted to do this for a while,” Harry states and Draco doesn’t have time to question what he means before Harry’s leaning down and kissing Draco. Draco freezes for a split second before his hand come up to grasp at Harry’s robes, kissing him back fervently. 

They kiss chastely for a moment before Harry’s tongue swipes along Draco’s bottom lip, making Draco gasp against Harry’s lips. Harry smiles into the kiss before pulling away, nipping at Draco’s bottom lip as he does. Draco takes few deep breaths, staring up at Harry with wide eyes. Harry’s mouth twitches before smiling a little and asking, “Was that okay?”

“Bloody fucking amazing,” Draco replies, pushing up on his toes and pulling Harry down the rest of the way. They stumble back, Draco’s back flat against the wall of the small alcove. Harry’s hands are moving from Draco’s neck, to his hips, to the curve of his ass like he can’t decide just where he wants to hold first. They snog for what seems like forever, both out of breath when the pull apart. 

Harry smiles down, lips swollen and an angry red. “Can we-“

Draco peers up at Harry when he cuts off. “Can we what?”

“Let’s- go to your room,” Harry suggest and desire pools in Draco’s stomach. 

“Yeah, okay,” Draco nods, taking Harry’s hand. He leads them down into the dungeons, opening his door with ease. He’s suddenly glad he’d tidied up earlier this morning. 

Once Draco has the door shut and locked, Harry turns on him and places a hand on the side of Draco’s neck. Draco’s breath catches when Harry pulls him flush against his chest. “Should we, erm, cast a silencing spell?”

Harry licks his lips, nodding. Draco’s barely gotten the words out of his mouth before Harry’s kissing him again. They stumble back against the bed, Draco falling back when the back of his knees hit the bed. Harry follows him down, both of them moving up agains the pillows. 

“I’ve wanted this for so long,” Harry whispers, his breath hot against Draco’s neck where Harry’s trailing kisses. 

Draco gasps when Harry bites against the pale skin of his neck. Harry kisses back up before finding Draco’s lips again. They’re kissing and Draco’s hand keep grasping in Harry’s hair, wishing it was longer. He pulls away slightly, “Why did you cut your hair?”

“I got sad using the hairbrush you bought me,” Harry confesses with a sad look in his eyes. Draco brings a hand down from Harry’s hair, caressing his face. “I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologize for,” Draco whispers, leaning froward and dropping a kiss to Harry’s nose. “We’re here now, that’s all that matters.”

“You’re a sap, Draco Malfoy.”

“Only for you, Potter.” 

Harry grins and shakes his head. “No, you’re a sap for most everybody you care about. You just don’t hide it with me.”

Draco grins and roll his eyes. “Would you just kiss me?” 

“As you wish, love.”


End file.
